How can feelings ruin relationships without us acknowledging our own emotions? When we’re unaware of our feelings, we are unable to own or understand them. This can lead to thoughts of confusion and we may believe that others have caused us to feel/ think in a particular way.
Our feelings can cloud our relationships. We may think that we feel alone because our partner has gone out. We might feel unworthy when he forgets to call. Instead of realising that these feelings may be a mirror of something else, we attribute the current feelings as being caused by our partner, rather than exploring the original source of the pain.
When you believe your partner is causing the pain, the relationship may become challenging and it could be difficult to see its positive aspects. There could also be a perception that the only way the relationship can improve is if the other person changes or attempts to reconcile with you. There could even be an expectation that they must put more effort into the relationship to make it work and you hope you may feel better after you have seen their attempts. However, focusing on what the partner should do differently, could distract you from what you are really feeling and what is happening in your own thought processes.
Strong connections and relationships are built by being aware of our own thoughts, and feelings and how these impact on yourself, as you interact with another person. Insight into your own thought and emotional processes will facilitate healthier relationships with a partner.
Couples Counselling is based on the unique needs of the individual couple and can assist couples in understanding and communicating their underlying feelings and thoughts. Couples counselling also means looking at how you can change rather than providing a list of things your partner can do differently. It is not an opportunity for the blame game. Couples Counselling, rather, is a space where other possibilities for the relationship are explored so that the couple can experience the relationship they prefer.
